Are you a credible witness?

Many people that I speak to have a great desire to reach their neighbours or co-workers with the Gospel. I find that they want to know how they can witness effectively to colleagues at work or to their neighbours During our discussions many people share how they have often struggled to get a point across when they felt an opportunity arose. While others have explained how frustrated they felt when it seemed that no one really wanted to listen.

I sometimes answer them by asking a question which is, “Do you think you have gained the credibility so that people will listen to you”? It is a question that is worth asking ourselves on occasion. It will mean asking ourselves whether we have demonstrated that we have the quality of being believable or are worthy of trust. In witnessing to someone that we know, it is absolutely critical. 

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” Collisions 4: 5-6

“Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise” Ephesians 5: 15

Building good relationships in order to witness is a type of witnessing is that is sometimes known as relational evangelism. It is the personal type of witnessing that we carry out amongst our work colleagues or close friends letting the light in our lives shine so that people who know us can see the way we live our lives on a regular basis.

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:13-16

 Let me make it clear. Jesus didn’t say, “Go and build relationships, then preach the Gospel to all creation”. We must still use every other method to reach people. This longer term approach is not a modern replacement for street preaching, door knocking, using tracts amongst many others. These are all very effective if they are done in the right way.  

Using the type of approach, we must consider that very often in order for someone to listen to the Gospel, we must first earn a right to speak. It makes good sense then to remember that our neighbours and work colleagues are really watching us. If our lives consistently point towards Christ and what we believe in a good way, it will provide much-needed credibility for when the opportunity arises.

Key Point Very often in order for someone to listen to the Gospel, we must first earn a right to speak

This is the reason that we are to always be prepared, behaving wisely in our relationships enabling us to take opportunities as they arise. So that it will win us the right to share the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

For some time as an adult lecturer, I taught on communication psychology. On the courses I ran I would often explain a well-known fact which is that: People make assumptions about us according to the way we behave.

It’s absolutely true and we should be mindful of it. People judge us by our appearance, by what we say and what we do. That is why we need to work on building our relationships so that we can earn the credibility to take an opportunity arises.  Lifestyle and relational evangelism focus on doing good, setting a good example so that our lifestyle attracts curiosity. 

For example, imagine that a co-worker was a bit of a gossip and used the odd profane word in conversation. If that person was to share the Gospel with another colleague, there would be an immediate credibility problem because of the way they behaved in work didn’t match up with the way a good Christian should be acting. In other words, they wouldn’t have earned the right to speak. Let alone to get a person to seriously listen.

How to dramatically increase the chances of someone going to church

I recently ran an evangelism course that was a very enjoyable experience because it was with a church that had never done anything like that before. Meeting people who were enthusiastic as well as watching their confidence grow really excited me. I am a qualified teacher and really enjoy it very much. However, training people to witness and invite people to church tops this by a very long way.

Part of the course is practical and involves inviting people to an event. In this particular case it was for my testimony, “A Fall From The Top”. On the testimony evening the church was filled with new faces and the faithful members witnessed people commit their lives to Jesus while the Holy Spirit impacted lives in very powerful and demonstrative ways. Glory to God!

I have said many times before, that we are not all called to be evangelists, but we are all commanded to be witnesses. For some, this element of their Christian walk, it becomes a huge challenge of confidence. Added to that, some believers can also lack confidence as a result of past witnessing or invitational experiences that didn’t go well.

Key point: When someone rejects an invitation. They are not rejecting you personally, but they are simply rejecting the invitation.

The truth is that most people simply don’t like being rejected. When it happens, people can take it very personally and as a result procrastinate about doing it again. The trouble with this is the more that a person puts something off; the more difficult it becomes to do it. Sometimes, and I will use a couple of metaphors like, “When they grasp the nettle” or “Bite the bullet” and attempt to witness or invite someone to church they can do so nervously. A further rejection at this point can make it even harder to do again in the future. 

The important point to remember is that when someone rejects an invitation. They are not rejecting you personally, but they are simply rejecting the invitation.

As a sales person that was taught to cold call and prospect for appointments I was taught to love the word “No”. Because through effort and persistence, the “No’s” would turn into the word “Yes”.

I often quote a scripture when I run courses that many find very challenging, especially when I ask the students to define one word. First of all let’s consider the verse.

"Then the master told his servant, 'Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full. Luke 14: 23

The word that I focus on is to compel. I ask people to explain what it means and I always get some good answers, like push, or pull or drive. When I give the dictionary definition it gets quite a reaction. The descriptive words are to force or oblige (someone) to do something, to coerce into, pressurize into, pressure, impel, drive, press or to urge. The Vines biblical dictionary describes the word as to constrain.

I think that Jesus knew what he was talking about when He said that.

Well, how do we compel someone to come to church without making them feel forced or pressured? What could we do that would make people feel more comfortable about attending a church service or outreach event?

First off all, we need to consider how the person you are inviting may be feeling when you invite them. For many people today church is alien to them. Other than for a wedding, Christening or a funeral they would not normally set foot inside a church.

The other consideration is the often stereotypical view that people have of church services. People may think the church is full of old people, or boring, or that the place is full of people who are miserable. Another thing that Christians often forget is that some people are afraid of being converted.

There is a proven way that you can invite a person to church that will dramatically increase the chances of them actually saying “Yes”.

Recently a survey was taken in the USA regarding inviting people to come to church. These are the findings:

• 80% (Four out of five)of people who were invited said they would be willing to go along
• If the person was left to their own devices only 14% (Roughly one in ten) of the 80% actually went along
• However, if the person who was doing the inviting, made arrangements and to meet to person before the service so that they could physically go into the church together, 79% of the 80% (Approximately seven out of ten actually attended).

The evidence then is overwhelming. Arranging to pick up, meet somewhere or even waiting for them to arrive outside of the church makes a significant difference.

Someone took me to church for the first time. That day my life completely changed. By making the extra effort to go the extra mile, by making people feel more relaxed and comfortable before arriving chuch or outreach event will pay dividends.

Meeting people before coming to church is MAD. In other words it makes a difference!

Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes

Scripture tells us that we are to “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.” Colossians 4: 5. Therefore we need to consider carefully how we approach people with the Gospel. After all, we don’t want to alienate people so that they avoid us like the plague every time we are in their vicinity.

As the old saying goes, it is good sometimes to “Put ourselves in someone else’s shoes”. This genuinely can be a great help if we want to improve the way in which we share the most important message with those who need to hear it.

We need the wisdom that God provides so we can witness as Christ commanded us to, by making the most of every opportunity that presents itself to us.  God chooses to use you and me; we are carriers of the Gospel. What an honour this is! Let’s not forget that the Holy Spirit will always help us as we glorify Christ and make an effort to build God’s kingdom.

“Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” Proverbs 4: 7

“If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him.” James 1: 5

We therefore need to pray, asking the Lord to help us and to provide us with wisdom so that we can be more effective at sharing the good news.

Key Point: Ask God for wisdom. He gives to everyone liberally.

Below are just a couple of points worth considering as we endeavour to witness:

When you witness:-

·        Do you come across as a stereotypical Christian? Some people perceive that they are unable to relate to believers in Christ. Often thinking that are often judging, hypocritical and completely blinkered in their views and opinions.

·        Do you use Christian terminology that people may not have heard before?  Unfamiliar terms can sound like a foreign language. Be considerate of this and explain if necessary to avoid any misunderstandings.

I heard a story about a pastor of a church who was trying to reach a group of bikers with the Gospel. Over a period of time he carefully nurtured a relationship with them and managed to organise a meal at a restaurant. While they were eating, a member of the pastor’s church was also dining there and went over to tell him about a recent men’s event that he’d attended.  The man used phrases like “Praise The Lord”, “Glory to God” and “Hallelujah” as he enthusiastically described the occasion and concluded with, “After the meeting we had a great time of fellowship with the brothers!”

The pastor was aware of the bikers’ confused expressions as they listened. It made no sense to them and the church goer could have been speaking Chinese as far as they were concerned!

What would make you feel awkward if you were not a believer and someone shared their faith?

We should always be mindful of this issue. Some Christians are very excitable or speak very loudly as they share.

I have known some Christians who have tried to loudly witness to someone in front of work colleagues. All this accomplished was to make everyone present feel awkward and embarrassed resulting people avoiding the Christian from then onwards.
As a young Christian I wanted everyone to know about Jesus. I literally couldn’t help myself at times. One hot sunny afternoon, I was visiting a friend who was an unbeliever. The lounge windows of his house were wide open to allow what  little breeze there was outside into the room.

He lived on estate where the houses had been built close together. After a brief chat, lunch was brought to us and as it was placed on the table I loudly started to say grace. My friend stopped me saying “Moray, please!” He was appalled by what I said because he was afraid his neighbours would hear. I learned an important lesson. As a boss of mine said many years ago, “Moray, always engage your brain before speaking!”
It is important though, that we still rely on divine promptings because sometimes the Holy Spirit will inspire us to speak. In my experience, when this is the case, it has always been at the right time. God’s timing is always perfect.
It helps to learn from each other’s experiences. I would greatly appreciate your comments on what would make you feel awkward as an unbeliever, when someone shared their faith with you.

Expressing your Christian Identity

How do people express their identity? Very often it is by the clothes they wear, or the people they associate with. Other methods are the ways that a person acts, through the sports club they support and of course the things that they say and do.

When someone suppresses their identity it can be a very frustrating experience. This means that a person desperately wants people to see their real identity, but feels for some reason that they have to hide it. An obvious reason for this could be related to fear of what they perceive could happen. I have read that in some Muslim countries when a person openly converts to Christianity their life expectancy is very often cut short.

May I present a challenge in asking how you express your own Christian identity? Are you a person who suppresses it in some way? For some, this is an easy question to answer, whereas others may find it more difficult.

We have a great example from Scripture where Paul says, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.” Romans 1: 16

The Psalmist also wrote, “My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long.” Psalms 75:15

I believe that both these scriptures clearly point out that when it comes to letting people where we stand, we are to express our Christian faith, rather than suppress it.

Some Christians find it effortless to demonstrate their beliefs through the way that they act and the things that they say. For example, when it comes to gossiping they will simply but firmly say, “I am sorry, but I don’t speak ill of others.” Or when a conversation comes up on spiritual matters at work, with family or friends, they seize that opportunity to nail their colours firmly to the mast and witness for Jesus.

What should you do if you have been suppressing your faith? Firstly, discover the reasons for it. Is it due to fear of rejection, ridicule or damaging relationships? Or are there other reasons such as a lack of confidence in sharing or because of thinking that you may not be able to answer questions? Perhaps for some the reason is that they prefer to be “Sunday Christians” so that they can be accepted by those around them.

Key Point: God doesn’t want you to suppress your faith, but rather to express it through your words, actions and deeds.

Jesus commanded us to be witnesses for Him. There is no doubting this: He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation”.  Mark 16: 15

We are not meant to hide our faith but let people see the reality of it through the way we act, speak and the things that we do. The scriptures leave no room for doubt.

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”(.) Matthew 5: 16.
 
This comes back to a combination of lifestyle evangelism and being a proactive believer.  In my early days as a Christian I was taught by my Pastor, who was an evangelist, that as Christians we can make opportunities for the Gospel.  This can be in the form of an invitation or sharing of your testimony of salvation or even sharing the Gospel

The definitions of the words express and suppress are very interesting particularly when applied to making our Christian identities known.

Express: Convey in words or by gestures and conduct

Suppress: To keep from being revealed

If you are easily able to express your Christian identity it is really great news. If you find this area of your walk challenging, you will need to pray and ask the Lord for courage. I can speak from experience and tell you that He will answer if you do. After all, His desire is to communicate the Gospel of truth and the atoning death of His Son through you. What an honour!

Ask the Lord to help you and guide you. If you do you can be reassured of one thing. Scripture says:  ^“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4: 13

You could pray a simple prayer like this: “Lord, I ask you to help me to express my identity in Christ so that it is clear and evident for all to see. Send people who don’t know you as Lord into my path and help me to share my faith and bring honour and glory to You in Jesus’ name. Amen”

Be Blessed!

Does God have a sense of humour?

The event I describe below is one that I will never forget. Looking back now I remember it very fondly. When it actually happened though, my feelings were the exact opposite. I never believed that I would share this story the number of times that I have over the years when speaking about my journey to finding Christ. This story and others like it can be found in my book "A Fall From The Top". 

I often say that I believe that God has a sense of humour, because many of the things that I used to despise about Christians, I now do myself! Yes, I am often the man that knocks the front door to say "Hello, I am from your local church”, or the person who stands on a street with a microphone sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Before becoming a Christian I particularly disliked anyone involved in preaching. Well, I am delighted to say that I do a lot of that now. God is so good! 

The Lord is able to use our situations when we yield ourselves to Him - even our struggles and hardest times. Through my own life experiences I am able to empathise with people who have been through similar circumstances. When people know that you really understand and care, it builds trust and credibility. From there you can then point people to the truth of the Gospel.  

The great Christian motivational speaker Zig Ziglar often used to say, “People don’t care what you know, until they know how much you care!” I used to listen to his sales training tapes over and over again while driving long distances between my offices. I have never forgotten the statement. I can confirm its validity because you will see the hardest people open up when they know you genuinely care.

Key Point: The Lord is able to use our experiences when we yield ourselves to Him.

You could be witnessing to  a person who may be going through a really difficult time and in what they feel is an impossible situation. We know that God can transform situations when people allow Him to move in their lives. I often explain that I know He can turn things around because He transformed the life of a self obsessed, money grabbing, lying, cheating, adulterer. Yes, that was me! The amazing thing is that He now uses me to share the good news!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose". Romans 8:2

This is the excerpt:  I didn’t have a full licence to drive a car on my own at the time, as I had not yet passed my driving test. I used to get a lift to work with our Butchery Manager, Terry Ford. He used to pick me up with his wife and children.

They were a Christian family and his wife was one of those ‘happy clappy people’. She would say things that irritated me, like “Praise the Lord” and “Thank you Jesus”. She reminded me of the weird Christians I had seen on television some years before.

I considered her and all other Christians to be the same type of people. I disliked them all and believed that they were all weaklings that used Jesus as some sort of crutch. To me being a church goer was the total opposite of karate which had taught me about building self belief and inner strength, which was nothing like what I thought being a Christian was.

One Friday afternoon when we on our way home from work with Terry and his family, we got stuck in a traffic jam in the centre of the town. We were moving along very slowly in the car in a busy area. We came to a standstill behind a white Triumph Herald. A sign that was stuck on the lower middle part of the back window gradually came into focus. It read in bold print, “TOOT IF YOU LOVE JESUS!” “Oh no!” I thought, “Oh Please don’t let her notice it there.” She saw it and with a big smile on her face she said at the top of her voice, “Oh look, Praise the Lord!” I hoped that she would only give the horn a quick thump, but oh no, she waved to the person in the car in front and hit the horn long and hard “TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!”,"TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!", "TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!"

I felt extremely embarrassed and believed everyone was staring at me. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. Everyone was laughing in the car except me. I sat there with my arms folded and had a look of total disgust on my face. I resented her for doing it and I even started walking to work because of it. On the odd occasion I saw her, it was very difficult for me to even speak to her.

I hope this story made you smile or even laugh. You have a story to share. Go and share it.

Are you welcomed at church?

 

Recently I was speaking to a very close friend of mine who pastors a busy, growing church. We got on to the subject of engaging new people or visitors when they come to church.  How would you answer the question, “What would you expect to happen when visiting a new church?”

 

I preach in a wide range of churches and when doing so, have experienced a very diverse range of welcomes. Some have been very good but others really poor. It’s important to remember that not all of the visitors to your church will be Christians. Some may be there as a result of an invitation, others because they are searching for God. Sometimes people visit a church because they are desperate and need an encounter with God. They are ready for Him to speak to their hearts.

 

Key Point: You need to welcome people in the way that you would expect to be welcomed on a first visit!

 

The way that we engage and interact with a newcomer plays a huge part in whether the person returns and definitely influences their decision to make your church their spiritual home – or not. You need to welcome people in the way that you would expect to be welcomed on a first visit.

 

The scriptures tell us very clearly how we are to behave. “ Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4: 5-6

 

There are two ways we could comment on this scripture, but for now let’s consider these words in respect of visitors to your church. We will assume that every new visitor receives a personal welcome at the door of the church, at the very least. We are looking beyond this initial introduction at your church.

 

These are a few basics:

*They are met by a happy, smiling person as they arrive


*They receive a firm handshake


*They have a good conversation with effective eye contact and positive body language

*They are presented with details of the church and are given a visitors card

 
*They are made aware of the church facilities


*If they have children that they receive information about young people’s activities

 
*They are shown where they can sit, or even better, to a seat


*They are introduced to someone in leadership (if possible).

I lecture on customer service and how to give customers the right impression. Visitors to your church are not like people who visit shops and businesses, but we must give them an impression of Jesus, after all, He is the reason we are there and as a result we should demonstrate His love and grace.

 

 

A few years ago I visited a church not too far from where I live. I like to arrive before the meeting starts, so we entered the church to be met by a greeter who smiled and shook our hands. He gently waved his arm in the direction of the seats and that was it. We sat down and for the next fifteen minutes watched the people arrive. As the church filled up no one spoke to us at all, until the Pastor and his family arrived just a few minutes before the service started. At the same time some other friends arrived, came over and said hello to us. We were pleased to see people we knew but overall, our experience was not that welcoming.

 

I know people who have visited a church and had the complete opposite happen –because it seemed as if the whole church came over to greet them, so much so, that it felt claustrophobic. They felt pressured and overwhelmed by the attention.

 

A couple of years ago my family accompanied me to a preaching engagement. We were welcomed in much the same the way I described earlier and of course by the pastor. However, no one else even engaged us, even during the after service refreshments.

 

It’s obvious that we ought to use wisdom in the way that we act toward outsiders; making the most of every opportunity that comes to us.

 

I have another question. “Do you make the most of every opportunity?”

 

At our church, the Pastor and leaders will always make a point of speaking to new visitors as a matter of priority. I am aware that some churches have large numbers attending so it may be difficult for the Pastor to do this. In these circumstances, it is vital that the regular church attenders are mindful to welcome the newcomer with a handshake and a smile as they introduce themselves. Try to avoid saying “I haven’t seen you here before” because they may have been there and you didn’t know it.

 

When I greet people I smile and say “Hi, my name is Moray and it’s a pleasure to meet you. I don’t believe we have met before…do you live locally?” This simple question should let you know how willing the person is to speak. Some conversations finish quickly because people are a little shy whereas other times the opposite can happen.

 

If visitors have children with them I will make a point of speaking to them as well. I might ask if they were informed about the children’s facilities and crèche programmes.

 

I will also introduce them to key people in the church who I know will be welcoming. We have just once chance to make a good ‘first impression’!

 

Be sure to speak to them after the service finishes. I don’t ask “Did you enjoy the service?” because this question may make them feel under pressure. So instead, I may comment on an aspect of the service which often starts a conversation which can lead on the other things.

 

The way we do this has an impact on attendance. How welcoming are you?