How do I open a conversation so I can talk about Jesus?

This article contains some practical suggestions which will help to open the door for you to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ easily with family, friends and co-workers. Anyone, in fact. 

Paul spoke in psychological terms regarding winning people to Christ when he said in Corinthians: 

“To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings”

1 Corinthians 9-22

Recently the above scripture has been on my mind. I have been asked many times over the years, “How can I speak to a family member, friend or co-worker about Jesus in a way that is natural and isn’t confrontational?” With that in mind, I am going to talk about methodology, a way of doing something that is extremely effective, but isn’t like a sales training session with opening and closing techniques.

Key Point: The Holy Sprit will bring scriptures to memory when you witness

Here is a simple way of opening a conversation that should lead the person to ask you a question – then you will be able to answer introducing the Gospel of salvation naturally. What you will be doing is creating an opportunity to share Christ; the great point is that when you do this, the Holy Spirit will be with you and He will bring scriptures to memory that you have both read and heard before. 

“But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you” John 14-26

For many years I have taught effective communication skills mainly in sales and management training situations. Now I train others for something much more worthwhile and important - sharing the Gospel.

Let’s get back to how we can open the conversation. “How can do I this?” you may be wondering. Put simply, it involves three key elements. They are:

• Asking an initial question
• Active listening and rapport building
• Breaking rapport and shutting up

An Initial Question: For this example, imagine that you have returned to work on a Monday morning after a weekend off. You are with a co-worker and when the time is right, you ask the all-important initial question.

Are you ready? The extreme psychological power of this simple tactic may surprise you.

So brace yourself, here it comes. 

“What did you do over the weekend?” 

This can hardly be considered a high pressure confrontational question that is going to make a person squirm in agony as you ask it! However – it is all that you need to do. The next step though is crucially important.

Active Listening and Rapport Building:

At this point you must actively listen. This means to listen and ask questions, showing you have understood what is being said. In communication lessons I hold, I explain that making listening noises like “Yes”, “Right” and “Oh, I see” while nodding as well as asking questions reveal to the speaker that the listener is paying close attention, with genuine interest.   

We will imagine that the co-worker went to a dinner dance on Saturday evening and then watched a movie on Sunday. The questions I would ask would be perhaps. “Oh that sounds great, what was the food like?”, “Were many people there?”, “What was the music like?”, “Did you do much dancing?” 

Questions that you could ask about the movie could be “Was it a good film?” “Was the cinema full?” “What did you do after that?”, “Were any good films shown on the trailers?”

Why ask those questions? The reason is people like to talk about themselves and by engaging in this way, high levels of rapport are quickly achieved. Once this happens, people enjoy the sense of rapport and subconsciously want to maintain it. This leads on to the final part.

Breaking rapport and shutting up: 

Once you have asked the questions which could have taken five or ten minutes, you need to break the rapport and stop talking! Just keep quiet and resist the temptation to speak. In 95% of cases, the co-worker will have a strong desire to maintain the rapport and they will attempt to do this by responding with a question for you - which is quite likely to be: “What did you do over the weekend?”

My answer would be something like: 

“I had a fantastic weekend at church because………..”

You can tell them about the speaker, singing, testimonies – anything that may have happened. Very often the co-worker will ask you more questions, allowing you to elaborate. Whilst you have this precious window of opportunity, you could ask more questions.

Here are a few examples: 

• “I was wondering, do you believe that church is still relevant today?”
• “Can I ask, do you believe in God?”
• “What do you think happens to people when they die?”

Or, if you have the confidence, a great question is:-

“Are you 100% sure that if you died today, that you would go to heaven?”

You can use an opening question in any way you want. A few suggestions are:

"What are your plans for the weekend"? or "Do you plan to have a busy or relaxing weekend"?

In an attempt to open a conversation about the Gospel, I have met people who are very direct and like to start with first questions like “Do you know that you need to repent of your sins?”

In many cases the conversation begins and ends with that.  There are many ways to get started and the simple that one I have gone through does work, with proven results. 

If you have never done anything like this, have a go. The results will pleasantly surprise you!